For three weeks, we’ve been on a slow-moving, immersive road trip, traveling north from our home in central Italy, across southern France, and down along the coast of Spain to reach the southernmost stretches near Gibraltar. To put the 2,084 kilometers (1,295 miles) trip into perspective, it’s almost exactly the distance from NYC to Miami.

By the time we reach our destination tomorrow, we will have spent 21 nights en route, with only 3 requiring money. That’s worth repeating. Twenty-one travel nights. We have paid for lodging on three of those nights.

The other 18 nights? Our currency is the ancient, time-tested barter system.

Here’s the trade: You stay in our historic, fresco-graced apartment in Tuscany. We stay in your comfortable, welcoming home in ??? (insert dream destination).

There’s no money involved, other than agreed-upon cleaning fees, and the exchange need not be reciprocal. We can also exchange points for the homes of other vetted members.

Dipping our feet into the sharing sea.
When we first left the U.S. to become full-time travelers back in 2015, we could have been platinum members of the Airbnb club (if such a thing existed). We had been hosts, renting our primary residence when we were away on adventures, and earning around $10,000 per year. We plunked most of those funds back into the system, staying in homes and connecting with locals from Istanbul to Barcelona and Naples to New York. It was a soul-filling circle of travelers fueling travel.

As we navigated nomadic life, how we found accommodations shifted towards local rental agencies and connections from sundry bartenders, shop owners, and colorful characters we’d meet along the way. Then a fortuitous meeting with a fellow traveler on a walking tour in Porto, Portugal, opened our eyes to better (and more affordable) ways.

“You must try Workaway,” she said. “You take on random jobs for someone for a few hours a day in exchange for free lodging and cultural immersion.” Within days, we had our first “random job” booked and were bound for an organic, family farm in northern Croatia.

We would go on to become photographers for a Montenegrin hostel, gardeners for a British MP in Italy’s Marche, and house sitters for a Scottish couple in Tuscany. Finding the ancient barter system to be alive and thriving was a revelation. Every gig offered intimate access to fascinating people and the opportunity to experience new places from a local’s perspective. We were hooked!

In our “old” lives, we’ve been early users of ride-sharing services like Uber and Lyft, then nomadic life introduced us to a level-up with BlaBla Car. To be able to jump into the car of a stranger who happens to be traveling in the same direction, without throwing a thumb out on the side of the road (and with the safety precautions of verified profiles and ratings), well, it was another revelation. Riding with a Pilates instructor en route from her home in Malaga to a workshop in Cadiz, then with a professor commuting from his home in Spain to teach a weekly course in Portugal. Sharing the expense of gas and life stories along the way. Fascinating and economical. Again, we were hooked!

Then, while researching a story for my Travel Secrets column for Paste magazine, I was gifted a trial membership to TrustedHousesitters. Our first gig—caring for Italian water dog Manu from a posh penthouse in central London—changed the way we traveled. For the next three years, we criss-crossed Europe, caring for people’s homes and pets in exchange for a temporary place to call home.

From three-month gigs to three-night stints, we were definitely hooked! There was one year when our total living expenses were well below $10,000! Of course, with that came the rootlessness of always being in transit, but that’s another story.

Sharing our most personal and treasured assets.
When we decided to put down roots, purchase, and renovate an apartment in Tuscany, we continued house sitting in spurts, particularly for return visits to the homes of once-strangers who have become like family. Thanks to one of those return gigs, we had fallen in love with the wily-by-nature wirehair dachshund and proclaimed, “If we ever settle down, we’ll have one of our own.” Three years ago, we welcomed the magnificently funny Marcello into our lives and, as you might imagine, the house-sitting offers mostly dried up.

Occasionally, we still take on assignments. Leaving Marcello with sitters while we spend a weekend in Venice or Rome caring for someone else’s pup. But mostly, the house-sitting/pet care model isn’t a fit for our current stage of life.

Then, a couple of months ago, a fellow house sitter suggested we try house swapping. At first, even seasoned sharers like us were reluctant. We’ve spent years uncovering and restoring centuries-old frescoes in nearly every room of our expansive apartment. While we’re known for throwing parties and hosting guests because, as the guardians of a historical space, we enjoy sharing its story, to turn over the keys to complete strangers took careful consideration.

As I began studying the aptly-named HomeExchange, which launched online in 1992, making it older than most platforms mentioned above, I quickly realized from the profiles and interactions that these are our people! Trusting, open, and curious travelers with a strong desire to experience new places through a local lens. When the value equation involves opening the doors of your own space, even if it’s a second/vacation home, to fellow travelers, respect and care become the primary currencies.

In our first exchange, we welcomed a Canadian mother and son traveling through Italy together. Then came an Italian mother and daughter who dreamed of visiting Lucca Comics. Both exchanges were for five nights, earning us around 2,000 points for future use. The only euros exchanged were for reasonable cleaning fees. Each guest left our home sparkling clean and even left the kindest gifts and notes.

Which brings us back to our current adventure. Our goal on this first major road trip in Europe (following earning an Italian driver’s license and buying a car earlier this year) has been to explore small and new-to-us towns, plotting 5-6 stops along the way, with less than six hours driving at a stretch.

First, we were drawn to Bandol, France, for its acclaimed rose wines, prime cycling routes, and seaside walking trails. A search for dog-friendly exchanges revealed six possibilities. After careful filtering for photos, descriptions, reviews, and exact locations, I messaged two potential hosts. When my favorite listing replied, within a day, that they were happy to welcome us, I danced all the way down our frescoed hallway to deliver the news to Matt. “Four nights, rent-free, in Côte d’Azur!”

“We usually don’t make exchanges for less than 7 days, but it might be possible this time, since we’d love to come to your house (I love it ! ),” wrote that host, providing a glimpse of how the system can work when communication is clear and direct. I replied that we would happily welcome the couple to our home in Lucca and, likewise, waive our 6-night minimum.

Upon arrival in Bandol, we met the couple for an in-person handover and instantly felt like old friends. He’s a retired pilot, and she’s an artist and sculptor. Their light-filled home is gorgeous and comfortable, and adorned with her artworks. We even had access to her studio across the courtyard. We all had a good laugh when they presented us with a gift—a bottle of Bandol wine—and we presented them with a gift—a bottle of Lucca wine! It seems that travel isn’t the only passion we share.

While there, we pinpointed the town for our next stop in France. Perpignan, just north of the Spanish border. A search revealed many possible exchanges, which quickly narrowed as I filtered for dog-friendly places with private parking. I messaged a couple of hosts, yet did not receive replies, as happens quite often. Finally, a host responded, explaining he was offering a private apartment on the bottom level of his home, which sounded fine until he added that he also had a dog. I thanked him for the offer but declined, knowing that our lovely Marcello would likely bark the other dog’s ears off and no one, dogs or humans, would find peace.

With nothing seeming to fit, I took it as a sign and expanded the search area.

“You’ve gotta see this house,” I was giddy when I showed Matt the photos of a classic French three-story town home located in a small village near the sea, just north of Perpignan. “There are six bedrooms and a rooftop terrace!”

“We only need one bedroom,” in classic form, my reasonable husband reminded me.

“There’s a sauna,” I added.

“You should message them.” In classic form, I already had.

When the host, who I would soon learn is a renowned French photographer, replied within hours, saying he would be happy to host us, I took that as a sign that his 1600-inhabitant village, which we had never heard of before, was exactly where we needed to be.

As so it was, La Palme—an artful, quirky village which feels as exotic as it sounds. Dating from medieval times, the wine-growing village has long enjoyed a strategic position nestled between the Corbières mountains with vineyard-covered hills rolling out to salty lagoons onward to the beckoning sea. An arid land of wine and oysters! Oohlala!

Visitors flock to the Languedoc-Roussillon region in summer for beaches and sports, especially wind-powered activities like kite-surfing and paragliding. For the wine dorks among you, production here has been documented as early as the 2nd century B.C. Today, the region is France’s 4th-largest producer of essential grapes, including Carignan, Grenache Noir, Syrah, and mourvèdre. Naturally, we feel compelled to sample all! Without HomeExchange, we might not have found this spot, which is now a favorite.

For the third stop, we set our sights on a place often referred to as one of the prettiest small towns in Spain. I messaged several hosts in Peniscola and received replies from about half of them. We received an offer for a small apartment on the promenade, which we almost accepted until something in the reviews gave me pause. Part of our education in the sharing economy has been learning to pick up on clues. It’s the same across most of these platforms. If there’s been a gig/sit/exchange, yet the other party doesn’t leave a review, that’s a red flag. The lack of a review is code for a bad review. If there are words like “acceptable” or “not as it appears in photos,” we proceed with caution. “Could be cleaner,” sends us running. (see below for more tips).

Then we found a couple whose vacation home, perched on the hillside overlooking the famous peninsula, has dozens of stellar reviews. Easily the most seasoned exchangers we’ve encountered, the hosts provided us with panoramic sea views, expansive terraces, and a fenced yard for Marcello. The apartment was a perfect fit for us, even if Peniscola wasn’t. Turns out, small is relative, and the town is more sprawling than our current mood, especially coming from the quaint beauty of La Palme.

Curiosity got the better of me when I searched our favorite village in southern Spain, the spot where we return every winter like the migratory birds we have become, and found a luxury villa with terraces, gardens, and a pool overlooking the sea. It’s less than 5 km away from the apartment we’ve rented for the duration of our stay and requires the highest nightly guest points of any we’ve booked so far. This six-night exchange is a splurge and doesn’t make sense to our route, but if you know us at all, you know… we went for it!

Now, with our guest points bank dwindling, we’re hooked! And you know what that means? We will soon be booking in new travelers to our home and re-upping our points. Travelers fueling travelers, a beautiful circle indeed.

Should you take the plunge?
Let me be clear. I am not advocating for you to join any of these platforms. These kinds of arrangements do not suit everyone. Every time we talk about this travel system, someone is sure to ask, in a high-pitched tone, “You let strangers stay in your home?”

If this is your first reaction, then no, exchanging homes, being or hosting house sitters, or working for lodging is probably not your bag. And that’s okay. Thank goodness, we all have different travel styles.

Conversely, if your reaction is similar to ours and goes anything like, “I love meeting fellow travelers and would gladly welcome them into my home,” well, then you should give it a try. It’s important to remember, it’s not about saving money (though that’s a bonus). It’s about experiencing places in more immersive ways.

Like most good things in life, you must be discerning and selective. We put our trust in the reviews and in our gut reactions to direct communication. We rarely proceed if there are no reviews. Sure, someone has to be the first, but it’s not in our comfort zone to take that risk. And, if someone has past gigs or exchanges listed but no reviews, that’s a sign! It’s a known system on these platforms that leaving no review speaks volumes. We ask questions and engage in conversation to ensure it’s a good fit. If anything feels off, we don’t walk; we run away.

For acing the house swap experience, here are a few pro-tips:

• Be clear and direct in communication. Hosts that are in it for the right reasons want guests to have the best possible experience and don’t mind asking and answering questions.
• Gain experience by swapping with friends or family. What a great way to dial in the experience and learn how to be your best hosting and best traveling self than by exchanging with someone you know to build your (honest) reviews.
• Speaking of…be honest, yet generous in reviews. No hosts or guests should be picked apart, but if there were real problems, don’t hesitate to provide details to help a fellow member decide for themselves whether to host/be hosted. Remember, this is a community project.
• Set proper expectations. Don’t claim to have air-conditioning if it only functions well in one room or boast about your sea view if it requires standing on your tiptoes to catch a glimpse.
• Meet in person, when possible. There’s a wonderful dynamic that develops when you meet your guest or host. When that’s not possible, leave a personalized note or send a personalized video.
• Like travel, sharing is a responsibility and privilege that should be taken seriously. I’m inspired by the hospitality and generosity of the hosts we’ve been in contact with along this trip. These experiences are an education in how to be a better, more mindful host, guest, and traveler.
• The golden rule shines brightly here. Treat the homes of others the way you want your home to be treated. Simple, elegant, and timeless–much like the barter system!

Should you choose to join HomeExchange, use this referral link which gets you and us a discount. Win/win!

https://www.homeexchange.com/?sponsorkey=jess-2d244